confusing love with obsession

Confusing Love with Obsession

When Being in Love Means Being in Control

When I wrote the book, Confusing Love with Obsession, I was had no idea how much of an impact it would have on people. At its core, the “Confusing Love” is about relationships and relationship addiction.

It tells the tale of love addicts through the lens of compassion. Each person’s person story is presented as it really happened – with an analysis at the end of chapter.

Obsessive Love Wheel

Because I recognized that addiction often runs in cyclical patterns, it was important for me to create something that people could “see” as a way of gauging their own behaviors. And so I created the Obsessive Love Wheel (OLW) as a demonstration of Obsessive Relational Progression (ORP).

obsessive love wheel

Writing Confusing Love with Obsession

I authored the book at a time in my life when I was struggling with my own life challenges while also trying to be helpful to others.

It took about a year to get everything on paper and then transfer that information onto a Word document. There were many edits and if truth be told, I could not have written any of it had it not been with the help of several people who are mentioned in the dedication.

The book now has become very popular, particularly among those in recovery from process and substance type addictions. It’s been featured in Cosmo and even cited in several places, including Wikipedia

Traits of People Who Confuse Love with Obsession

And so what does it mean to Confuse Love with Obsession? How do you know if you have a problem with relationship addiction or “Love Addiction” as it is commonly referred to?

Well, there are a number of traits and characteristics that are part of the dynamic.  

Confusing Love with Obsession Characteristics 

Below, you will find just a few that you may be able to identify with:

  • Abandoning sense of self in pursuit of another
  • Assigning magical qualities to a person that they do not possess
  • Believing someone will rescue you from your own misery, like a proverbial “knight in shining armor”.
  • Becoming consumed with the thought of a love interest that seems to grow more powerful each day.
  • Attaching yourself to another in a caustic way in order to medicate personal pain and fill a deep void.
  • Believing that if you just “Love someone enough” you can change them.
  • Denying the codependent nature of your attachment in your current relationship or history of relationships
  • Jeopardizing important life relationships, including friends, family and colleagues in pursuit of another.
  • You may use sex as a tool of manipulation and control
  • You may confuse love with codependency – which usually follows a historical pattern

There are just but a few of examples of what it means to confuse love with obsession. A more expansive article on relationship addiction can be found on this page.

Book Interviews

Not too long ago, I gave a book interview on the topic of love and relationship addictions that you might find of interest by visiting this website.

Should you be a person connected to media, such as news and want to speak with me about “Confusing Love”, feel free to send me a note using the online contact form.

If you are interested in picking up a copy of the book, you can buy it directly from Amazon. I’ve placed a link below – all you have to do is click on the book cover to be transported to the Amazon store.

FYI – the “Confusing Love” is published by Hazelden and can also be purchased in electronic format (e-book) from directly from the publisher.

Thanks for stopping by!